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Top Single & Lonely- A Different Marriage Reasons Why Reasons why people are single and lonely
by Lisa Jones
It's very hard to be a single person, and talking about it is even worse. The thing of it is, we have all been both single and lonely, at some time or another. Life has a way, of showing us the good, bad, and ugliness of being a single person. What makes a single person become lonely? Why are there so many of us out there? Lastly, how do you become involved, if you've tried the dating sites, parties, church socials, bars, and blind dates.....with no success? These are a few of the questions, which I would like to explore in this article.
1.
Being a single person myself, I can relate to most of this article's content. Regretfully, there are not too many people focusing on the long-term aspects of being single and lonely. There are many self-help books, seminars and groups, which support being single. I have yet to read anything, which shows the association of being a single person and being lonely. After awhile, many people give up on dating altogether, and simply become depressed. We start to focus on our personal flaws, and therefore began questioning our ability to find someone. Once this happens, it is extremely hard to convince that person, to get out and meet people again. Therapy, has become a powerful staple, in treating depression. I do not intend to attack therapists, nor am I referring to myself as one. Most of us are able to function, without the aid of therapy. We simply want to find a companion, who understands and wants to spend time with us.
What makes a single person become lonely? Well for starters, you've been in a relationship,and it may have recently ended. This is when the "rebound" syndrome comes into play. If you've already done that, but know the outcome...then you probably want to refrain from dating for awhile. This is to ensure that you don't repeat the dating cycle. In this case, people normally turn down offers to hang out, especially with another couples. When a person has been out of a relationship for awhile, they have to get used to dating again. This can also be a reason, for delaying their attempts to meet people. If you have friends who are dating or married, then it really becomes uncomfortable. You therefore, spend your lonely nights at home, dining alone. Most singles think that this is an acceptable solution, to being a third wheel, or left out of relationship conversations.
Next, I would like to talk a little about, why there are so many of us out there. Have you ever wanted to know, why there are so many lonely, single people? There obviously is, or we wouldn't have so many dating sites out there. There have been countless reports in the media, on dating disasters, date rape, and dating dos and don't's. You can barely watch television, without hearing a talk show focusing on dating. Women are more vulnerable then ever, when it comes to this. We want to trust, but society makes it hard. We have to fit into a certain category, size, and not have too prominent of a career. Men...not to be left out, have also been put under allot of pressure, when dating women. They too have become lonely, and therefore think the whole idea of dating, is a joke. With all of these negative factors, it's easy and less stressful to be by yourself. After a period of time, we become a statistic of the single lonely people.
So how do you get back out there, if you've tried everything. What I should say is, how do you get motivated, when you've tried everything? That's one of the most difficult question, there is to answer. People can become insecure and doubtful, after so many failed attempts. For women, the older we get, the harder it is too meet someone. Most men are looking for younger, more inexperienced women. Having an opinion, automatically causes a problem. If you happen to be smart, or self-sufficient, then that is an added disqualification for you. For men, they have to be in a certain income bracket,(according to most women). Most men...I've discovered, have dealt with childhood issues and living up to their family's expectations. Then there are the one's, which society puts on them. To answer my last question,'how do we get back out there'?, we don't; Instead, we work longer hours, hide out at home, sit in front of our computers, or maybe watching television...until sleep happens. To make things even worse, most of us mask our being lonely with food, drugs, alcohol, and for some....even sex!
In conclusion, this article was only written to make people aware, that there is a problem with being single and lonely. Hopefully, I've established the fact, that both are a sort of marriage. In that, they seem to go hand in hand,and not to often one without the other. one way we can work towards ending this, is by love, and learning to share with others. It is one of the few ways, in which we can grow as individuals. Trying not to isolate oneself, can be a challenge. Giving gifts of what we want to other people, can sometimes cause a positive reaction. We can start by practicing these things, with others.
Lisa Jones does not claim to be a licenced therapist, nor a relationship expert. There is only an interest in sharing thoughts on a common, but growing subject. People should be aware, that there are many others, experiencing the same thoughts and feelings of being single and lonely. If there is an interest in online shopping, please check a great site for everyday, retail items. This site offers great deals on name brand items,electronics, housewares, and hobbies:
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